Back to Earth

By Christian
(continuing from previous post)
The Lord poured upon me so many graces after that, that I knew it had really happened, it had been real. I devoured the Scriptures, especially the Acts of the Apostles. I knew what it meant to chew the Word of God. I couldn’t stop reading, couldn’t stop praying. Everything was so clear. I knew that what I read in the Scriptures was the Truth. 

At that time I was traveling extensively in Muslim countries for my job, and to Libya in particular. There, it was forbidden to have a Bible. So I hid it in my underwear when going through customs. 

I read constantly when I was not meeting people. The guys I was competing against called me the Priest. Back home, I couldn’t see the Host or pray the Our Father without crying abundantly. I couldn’t stand to hear anyone gossiping. I remember, once, we were leaving the Church, and we met some friends. When they said something negative, just negative about another person, I left. I couldn’t stand it.
At the same time it happened that I saw only what was good, truly good in people and couldn’t see what was not good. I felt the presence of God all the time; I could talk and listen to Him, but not only to Him, also to Mary, to the Saints, especially to Saint Joseph.
I never had this vision of Mary and of this Light again, at least I don’t think so, but I know I encountered God in a very tangible, sensible way. The veil between the visible and the invisible had been lifted for a brief moment, and my life couldn’t be the same anymore.

We started to pray with our friends, faithfully every week, for many years. We also started to revive the parish. We organized a choir and sang at the Sunday Masses, we re-started Adoration that had been long forgotten. We taught Catechism, prepared youths to receive the Sacrament of Confirmation, did marriage preparation. One time I was at an empty hospital Chapel, kneeling and praying in the first row facing the Altar that was just a few feet away. 

Hospital Chapel, Le Creusot, France

Behind the Altar there was a painting of Jesus on the Cross, we could see Jesus with his open wounds and I got sucked into the wound on his side, but didn’t have the guts to go, so I stopped right there. For surfers or body surfers, you know this feeling when you are at the top of the wave and you look down and you say to yourself, “I can’t do this one”.
Another time during Adoration, I was facing a statue of St Joseph, and I felt that he was really there with me. I didn’t have any doubt about St Joseph’s presence.
During all this time, I thought everybody had the same connections. I was sure the Pope had conversations with Christ and the Saints, that he was receiving their help and advice in a very palpable way, like Joan of Arc. Speaking of Joan of Arc, I have to tell you this story. I had a Catholic friend who was in prison in a Muslim country. His competitors found a way to trap him, under a National Security case so he would be sent to prison and couldn’t get a lawyer. He was kept in secrecy, with no public hearing, no trial, for many years. It was completely unjust! Then I had a dream where I saw his judge telling my friend: “Now you can go, you are free and don’t complain it was an injustice. Many people had to suffer injustice in many countries. Look at Joan of Arc!” 

Why did I have such a strange dream? What did Joan of Arc have to do with a Muslim country? Well, a few months later I had a call from my friend’s secretary. She was so happy to tell me that he had been freed that very same day. It was the feast of Joan of Arc.
Another time, I was visiting some friends in Nebraska, and was supposed to attend a business Christmas party three hours drive from my friends’ house. There was an ice storm warning the whole morning on TV and on the radio. It rained the whole morning and the rain froze instantly when reaching the asphalt.

So I decided to leave early. I almost had to crawl to reach the car, a huge station wagon from the sixties that weigh a ton. The road was covered with 1/2 inch of crystal clear ice. On the highway there was a lot of traffic, everybody hurrying, slowly, to get home; things were getting hectic. I was driving slowly, and without warning the car started to veer and make circles; I could see the lights from the cars coming from every direction through the windshield, in the rear mirror. I just had time to say:  “Oh Lord no, not now, please!" I knew I was going to crash and it was going to be pretty bad. Well that didn’t happen. I landed peacefully on the left side of the highway (there was no middle separation) and got stopped by a few inches high snow drift, just before the ditch. Only the front plate got bent.
A few years later we left our relatives, friends, house, job, and finally our country, to live a life of prayer in a Catholic Community where families could live with priests, brothers, nuns and other families. We sold our house and belongings, shared the produce with our daughters and the poor and woke up one day knowing that we depended on God only for everything.

Community of the Beatitudes
Monastery of the Visitation where we entered in 1990
Pont Saint Esprit, France

We went to the Holy Land and I was so longing to receive more graces, visions. But I was very disappointed; I felt I had received nothing special. That wasn’t true, of course. I had felt such a strong presence of the Lord when we were in the upper room, where Jesus instituted Eucharist. That was not good enough for me who had already received so much. Still I wanted more goodies, more sweet stuff. I wanted to feel the presence of the Lord all the time. It didn’t happen; the Lord had decided it was time for me to stop sucking milk and start chewing on meat.
I don’t have the chill anymore; I don’t cry when I receive the Eucharist or say the Our Father.
I can hear gossip and even gossip myself.
But I know that the veil was lifted at one time and that everything I saw and lived was true. Living in the presence of the living God is our daily experience, He is always with each one of us, always present, always interested, always attentive: “I am with you always, until the end of the age.” Mt 28:20.