By Christian
I received this comment from a cohabiting future groom,
“I don't feel that my commitment in marriage will be any different from the one I made in cohabiting before marriage. From the beginning, I have given all my love to her and her only, and nothing about that is going to change.”
He was very sincere! But what about God? While there is a difference between couples who cohabitate while planning to get married and couples who cohabitate with no plan, cohabitation remains sinful.
When a couple asks for the Sacrament of Matrimony, we assume that they yearn to invite God into their relationship. If they are a cohabiting couple, we assume that they wish to bring their relationship to a higher level.
Most of the time, cohabitation involves sex and contraception, which are two grave sins, despite what the culture tells us. They are not sins because “the Church says so,” they are sins because they go against God’s natural laws and will.
I received this comment from a cohabiting future groom,
“I don't feel that my commitment in marriage will be any different from the one I made in cohabiting before marriage. From the beginning, I have given all my love to her and her only, and nothing about that is going to change.”
He was very sincere! But what about God? While there is a difference between couples who cohabitate while planning to get married and couples who cohabitate with no plan, cohabitation remains sinful.
When a couple asks for the Sacrament of Matrimony, we assume that they yearn to invite God into their relationship. If they are a cohabiting couple, we assume that they wish to bring their relationship to a higher level.
Most of the time, cohabitation involves sex and contraception, which are two grave sins, despite what the culture tells us. They are not sins because “the Church says so,” they are sins because they go against God’s natural laws and will.
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| Lovers by Marc Chagall |
We
cannot overlook the serious pastoral problem presented by the widespread
practice of cohabitation, often by couples who seem unaware that it is gravely
sinful, not to mention damaging to the stability of society. Pope Benedict XVI
to American Bishops, March 9th, 2012
Cohabitation puts God
on the back-burner. A
couple who cohabitates before marriage doesn't put God in the equation. In
short, they don’t trust God to give them their spouse at just the right time.
It is like saying, "We are so in love, so committed to each other, that we cannot wait for you, God. We don’t need you." When in reality, the very source of their love IS God. He is the source of all love. So to proceed prior to His blessing is like turning our backs on Him.
It is like saying, "We are so in love, so committed to each other, that we cannot wait for you, God. We don’t need you." When in reality, the very source of their love IS God. He is the source of all love. So to proceed prior to His blessing is like turning our backs on Him.
Very often, too, these couples do not trust their love either, and
think it has to be tested. They want to verify that they can make it together,
just as they would test a car to make sure it’s the right kind for them.
Cohabitation is a great scandal in the Church, and causes others to sin, thinking that if so many Catholics are doing it, it must be OK. “If something is evil, even if everybody is doing it, it remains evil. If something is right, even if nobody is doing it, it remains right.” St. Augustine said in his Confessions.
We were celebrating my granddaughter Alice's birthday not long ago and this image came to my mind:
Just imagine that Alice snuck around behind our backs and grabbed a big piece of the beautiful birthday cake with her fingers, just to have a taste. Then the time to celebrate her birthday comes, and all we have to present to the family gathered around her is a cake with a big ugly hole in it. Everybody is shocked. The remainder of the cake is still good, we still celebrate the birthday, but something is spoiled, something is not as good and beautiful as it should have been. It's exactly the same with cohabitation.
Cohabitation is a great scandal in the Church, and causes others to sin, thinking that if so many Catholics are doing it, it must be OK. “If something is evil, even if everybody is doing it, it remains evil. If something is right, even if nobody is doing it, it remains right.” St. Augustine said in his Confessions.
We were celebrating my granddaughter Alice's birthday not long ago and this image came to my mind:
Just imagine that Alice snuck around behind our backs and grabbed a big piece of the beautiful birthday cake with her fingers, just to have a taste. Then the time to celebrate her birthday comes, and all we have to present to the family gathered around her is a cake with a big ugly hole in it. Everybody is shocked. The remainder of the cake is still good, we still celebrate the birthday, but something is spoiled, something is not as good and beautiful as it should have been. It's exactly the same with cohabitation.
Remaining chaste until
after the wedding makes it the only way to do it right in order to honestly
include God.
No one can consummate their vows until after their union has been blessed by God, because sex is THE sign of the covenant that authenticates the consent.
No one can consummate their vows until after their union has been blessed by God, because sex is THE sign of the covenant that authenticates the consent.
Yes, it’s God will for us to wait until He
blesses us. These are the natural laws, the
order in which God would like us to choose to abide in order to follow Him and
be happy.
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| Marc Chagall |
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